Taking a moment to handle your problem head on will not only save you time in the long run but also relieve your emotional struggle when life sucks. We are biologically programmed to focus on negativity because it keeps up safe and forces us to avoid things that may cause us harm or discomfort. We have evolved since the days of constant physical threats coming from wild animals or ominous sounds, but our survival instincts have remained intact. Because of this, we focus on the negative, and we now have to learn how to fight with the feelings that naturally arise from this.
You’re more productive.
The evenings and weekends are break from the routine life and work. Sometimes, all you have to do to find others struggling with the same thing is to put being sober sucks it into words and make them visible to others — maybe on your blog, or maybe in a social media post. You’re probably wondering, “How can I fix my life?
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That may be a question that comes up when you are faced with many difficult challenges that are completely out of your control. Besides the coronavirus epidemic we’re all facing right now, there’s also death, disease, bankruptcy, injustice, mental health issues, illness, and the list goes on. In short, Lembke says, almost every behavior has become “drugified.” A dopamine hit brings about pleasure, and then is quickly followed by pain, or a come-down, in order to keep us motivated.
- As our society improves across many areas (e.g., longevity, health care, racism, sexism), we adapt to this “new normal.” Our reference point for progress is measured against this new, higher standard.
- If this sounds like you, you might be surprised to find out how much more effectively you can deal with things sober.
- We can use this hope to fuel our motivation to learn, grow, and improve.
- In a manner of speaking, our feelings from the past would obscure our vision.
- You could be born with a fuck-all destiny, where you realize that your parents hate you for one reason or the other.
- So here’s a deep dive into the many reasons people struggle on their unique paths to sobriety as well as insights on how to overcome the fears and challenges they’ll likely meet along the way.
Why Does Life Suck So Bad Sometimes? (And How to Fix It)
All this pressure means that something has to give, and often the first thing that goes is taking care of our mental health. We ignore our feelings because we have decided they are bad, and instead, we focus on our loss and sadness. Sometimes we experience real pain, loss, and suffering that make life really suck.
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When you’re sober, you don’t have to worry about developing life-threatening complications from your habits. In the early days, I felt that it was my responsibility to answer the question, “How come you aren’t drinking? ” I didn’t understand I could decline to answer or that I didn’t have to make sense to everyone. For a period it was, “I’m an alcoholic,” and that tended to silence anyone (for clarification, I no longer identify as an alcoholic). These days, unless I’m feeling generous, I simply say, “I don’t drink,” and leave it at that.
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It makes us angry and corrodes us from the inside. It is hard to feel grateful when you are dealt a blow, no matter how big or small it is. A couple of weeks later, as the dust started to settle, I took her to the park to let some steam off. As luck would have it, she had another fall, and this time she broke her arm. The emergency room staff had failed to catch it—her jaw had broken.
Meet some new people.
” we not only gain back a feeling of control, but also figure out what we can actually do. For the better part of my life, I’ve felt flustered and incapable of handling these moments. Over time, I feel like I’ve figured out a few things that I can start doing to bounce back. But know that the more people see your words, the more people you’ll meet who know something of what you’re going through. Whatever you start with, know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
Ask yourself questions that change your focus or help you look beyond the surface of your situation. Reframing is about looking at your mistakes, your flaws, and anything you want to fix in your life and thinking about it differently. Speaking of different ways to make yourself happier, a lot of that comes from different ways of thinking about where you are right now. Make a list of everything you’ve done that makes you proud. Any of the 11 tips in this post can help you step out of that fog.
Life is better than we think, but we almost can’t help thinking it’s not.
Well, there’s a concept in psychology known as “confirmation bias,” and it means that we often look for evidence to support something that we already believe to be true. While making the decision to be sober was the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s also one of the hardest. Not only because not drinking is hard, but also because we live in a society where most everyone around us drinks. But I still remember the agonizing boredom of early sobriety. When I suddenly had so much more time than I was used to, and no idea what to do with it.
Some will certainly remain, but even those aren’t necessarily long-game friendships. Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up. So if all of your friends drink alongside you, then there’s no issue, right?